I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
