i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
