she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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