And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm at about main and main street
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
