planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
