Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
