I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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