He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize