Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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