Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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