If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
