so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he thought i was a dude.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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