i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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