i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
