I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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