Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
