She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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