ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
