is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
