well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
