They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
