Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
