they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
