I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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