D3 body, D1 cock
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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