I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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