You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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