is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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