he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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