I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
