Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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