i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
