fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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