mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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