Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
