I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
