dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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