how can u be prego again
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
