Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
