Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
