His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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