Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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