she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
