put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
