Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
