I look better un-naked...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
