Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
