Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
