Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
