you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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