The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
