This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
