i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize