happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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