im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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