So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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