your thong is hanging out like whoa
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
