Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
