Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
