you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
